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Noah Don't Like Rock

by The Calendars

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1.
I saw the announcement I saw the announcement I saw the announcement I swear I didn’t cry I just thought about how Even the most raging river Will one day be bone dry Like the vine will one day wither And like the tallest oak will one day fall it’s true Tonight we say goodbye to our favorite show Farewell ‘Joe Pera Talks With You’
2.
Drunken people Don’t talk, smile Stick a bottle In your pieholes Southern city Pretty empty Save for just one Carnival street Neon signage Ancient singers Grace these wet walls With their visage Just people looking for tacos pizza corndogs The locals know I’m not from here But we all speak the same language 4 dollars means one beer Short men fighting As it kicked off So did Kid Rock On the jukebox Country music No not that kind Even singing hobos Have QR codes Rooftop barband Nashville skyline Lonely lady With a Habsburg jawline Just people looking for tacos pizza corndogs The locals know I’m not from here But we all speak the same language 4 dollars means one beer
3.
I met you at the barbecue You were a friend of a friends sisters work acquaintance And when our eyes locked my heart just stopped and I knew I wanted you I wanted to go home with you You were standing by the chips I was standing by the dip Have you ever heard of something more inevitable But you were seeing Theodore I was seeing Jessie It woulda been so wrong It woulda been messy to make a move So I drank 5 beers and I disappeared And what could’ve been Will have to stay a daydream That was a year ago Or actually was it two Anyways we’ve since become good friends No tension No blues But the other day at the bar you asked if I remembered meeting you At the barbecue And if I’d noticed you staring at me Because on that day Just for that day You thought I was kinda cute Oh wow I woulda never ever knew I woulda never knew That you were secretly horny too
4.
I was an accident Not in how I was conceived In how I turned out to be My folks raised me well They did everything right Despite their best efforts I turned out an Antichrist I was an accident Not in how I was conceived In how I turned out to be They took me to church I went to CCD Still every word from my mouth Was snd still is blasphemy I was an accident Not in how I was conceived In how I turned out to be I’ve got sloth and pride Covet my neighbors wife I’m past the wrath But way way back It was really bad I was an accident Not in how I was conceived In how I turned out to be I was an accident
5.
after all these years Breathing through a straw I open up my eyes And they’re all gone Now that the coast is clear The sharpshooters have gone away I rise up from these depths and face the day Its been getting so hard to be A swamp monster like me Shake off these vines and see If there’s still a man underneath And if he Can make it through a casual conversation Without a mention of his intention To blow up the power grid, the federal reserve, the democratic national convention All they see is green But I’ve learned all the names Of all the vines and trees That yet remains Its been getting so hard to be A swamp monster like me That’s just what I believe I’ll be Consumed by the swamp For just as long As they’re consumed by their greed
6.
If I keep on repeating And try my very best to believe them And I mean really really try Then I could start to believe my own lies I wasn’t in Allston on Christmas night In the year of our lord: 1999 I was at home with my family of 5 And I’ve never been in a bar fight Even if I was I wouldn’t have brandished a knife Before being held down by several large guys And I certainly wouldn’t start to cry Before being thrown into the alleyway outside What’s more I wouldn’t have followed the main guy Back to his car and pulled out my .45 And forced the poor fool to beg for his life Before pulling the trigger and watching him expire I’ve never been to the River Charles Save for skating on it as a young child And personally I just couldn’t say The identity of the John Doe Found floating the next day If I keep on repeating And try my very best to believe them And I mean really really try Then I could start to believe my own lies
7.
A man must be a pugilist To make it through this life To beat the fearsome devil down A man has got to fight I hit the gym, I pump my iron Every single Sunday I carry with me all my sins I’m training with weights Ooooo I’m training with weights I used to be a man of sin I beat my wife and dog I sold my child for some beans And a lowly hog I was deceived by wrath and greed I fought the wailing wind But now with Jesus in my corner I know this fight I’ll win I hit the gym, I pump my iron Every single Sunday I carry with me all my sins I’m training with weights Ooooo I’m training with weights
8.
Burning the colony alive With a magnifying glass Held up high in the sky It’s death from above But they’ll be alright Cause they’re 10x stronger than I’ll ever be Despite their minuscule size They’ll reign supreme and burn me alive One day, someday someday soon
9.
My best friend Don’t wanna sing with the band no more Well can you blame her? no We Broke up on the stage Yesterday At the show She called me names I don’t recall A single word I was blackout Or so I heard Now all I haves A splintered hand A smashed guitar in the van My best friend Don’t wanna sing with the band no more Well can you blame her? We’re going nowhere
10.
Opposites 04:00
The strongest thing I’ve seen you do Was grow weaker everyday The saddest sight I ever saw Was the smile on your face Time is said to heal Yet it throws us all away That you were fearful of your fate Just makes you all the more brave Love brings so much joy It’s the greatest thing in life But it’s love that causes pain In the ones you leave behind Opposites They pull us together they tear us apart I guess a magnet is A perfect schematic For a human heart With age you grew more wise But you quickly lost your mind Words had meant such a great deal But none as much as goodbye You taught me all the rules I always would defy Now I look more like you I’ve walked miles in your shoes Life swirls as light and sound An old black and white film The screen is dark for now But a new show will begin Anything goes, so what is this The viewer now must write the script Contrived and specific Is that really the infinite? Opposites They pull us together they tear us apart I guess it’s tragic You built me from scratch Now I throw the ash When it blows back in my face You know I can’t help but cry I can’t help but laugh I can’t help but cry I can’t help but laugh
11.
Pavers Hymn 04:00
I’ve seen a rose Growing in the cracks In the pavement Saw a man With a hardhat A visible asscrack Morning sun Beating down hard On ten micks In a clown car It’s a tough job But It’s a living Plus these potholes need filling John Deere excavator Asphalt technician He’s a smooth operator Too many roads to pave to waste time bitching I saw a yuppie crying Drove by in his Prius On his way back from the sex shop A cock cage for his penis Never worked a long day Says he loves the environment On his favorite Reddit forum From the safety of his apartment John Deere excavator Asphalt technician He’s a smooth operator Too many roads to pave to waste time bitching

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released December 4, 2022

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